47 at Forty-seven – The Mid-Life Crisis Diet Project - Part 4

47 at Forty-seven – The Mid-Life Crisis Diet Project

Part: 4 Me minus the Highness & Week Three


Instead of Couch Potatoes, Can I get a Salad?
Life looks a little different when completely sober. Did you all know that the economy is in a free-fall? And why is Jimmy Fallon in Conan’s chair? Moreover…how come that second question troubles me more than the first?

My buddy Adam asked something very intriguing. “Do you feel sharper from no booze and weed?” Wow. Great question. Booze and weed for me were almost exclusively at-home, evening habits. I have never shown up to a gig under the influence of anything. For me, that is inexcusable. Mortal sin time (even though I’m not Catholic).* But, they say THC can stay in your system for weeks. So am I sharper? I don’t know. I will say, I’ve had a couple of killer improv shows at ComedySportzLA these past weeks – although I wasn’t super proud of my work in last week’s long-form show (which oddly enough, is called “The High”).

I do know this much. I have more energy throughout the day, and more focus. Let’s be honest, weed saps your ambition. Picture the stereo-typical stoner. He’s out-of-work, sitting on a threadbare couch, in his mess of a living room. There’s probably a pizza box and an open bag of Doritos lying about. He’s wearing sweats or pajamas, underneath a ratty, Lebowski bathrobe, and listening to Dark Side of the Moon. I call that “Thursday”.

So, hopefully we’re losing a bit of that ambitionlessness (is that even a word?). Part of this whole challenge is motivation – motivation to lose weight, to make life changes, to feel better, to be better. I’d like to think I’m on my way.

*Full Disclosure - When I was with the SynD’Cats, as part of the performance, we had a bar on stage and would drink during the show, which was a Rat Pack-style revue…BUT we were self-produced. Any corporate shows with the SynD’Cats, I didn’t touch a drop. (I can only speak for myself on that account.) So when I say I never drank and performed, I mean except in this show – where I drank and performed.

Celibate Good Times, Come On
I have never been a sex machine, but I like to think I had a decent run with the ladies for a while. In my 30’s, in Orlando, I was feeling good about myself. I was working all the time, making decent money. I was a bigger fish in a smaller pond. Some may have thought I was a “reel” catch. Ah, metaphors, how I love to beat you into the ground.

But my 40’s have been a little different. I haven’t exactly set L.A. on fire. Two major deaths in my family, I got a little sadder, a little older, put on weight, and – romance-wise, I stopped putting it out there. This is what happens when we don’t feel great about ourselves. What am I saying? The last time I was getting it regular, America was watching Herman’s Head! Hello? Is this thing on?

My point is, I have hardly got a libido – for a few years now. This is NOT who I used to be. A girl could raise an eyebrow at me, and I would raise something of my own, IYKWIM. Will getting my body-image back have an effect? Will getting the THC out of my system have an effect? Is this just male menopause? I’m anxious to find out. I must confess, I bought the blue pill, the bone pill from an on-line pharmacy. I’m 47, not dead. Stella needs to get his groove back. I think I’ll go rent a movie with Carla Gugino in it. She always seems to show the goods. I’ll let you know how it goes.


Dame and Weigh-ins
I got my first compliment this week (thanks Amber). She said she could absolutely tell I was losing…and she could especially see it in my face. Happy happy, skippy jump.

Week Three weigh-in (drum roll)…
232 lbs. (Down 13 lbs. 34 to go)

Only one pound this week. Not to make excuses, but after hitting the gym pretty hard, I pulled a groin muscle (guess I had to do it some way, having no libido and all; oh I am hilarious!). So this has been a rather sedentary week. Also, I had a lovely visitor from out-of-town. Sweet Michelle was here, trying to wake the dead. I ate fairly healthy during her stay, but a couple of meals were definitely off-diet. Heck, even if I do one or two pounds a week, I’m moving in the right direction.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and well-wishes. More to come...off.